Navigating singleness as a Christian

 Singleness 

I’m excited to make this blogpost about singleness because it’s fun to research, read, and watch. But honestly it’s just truly encouraging!!!

I’m in a space where I’m not quite at the average age of marriage but it is still something I desire.

When I first became a believer I thought that God wanted me to stay single forever. I saw that other missionaries that were often single and I thought I could do God’s work better that way. Though it is true that singleness has its perks, that is not the only way you can serve God. Paul was single and was able to do much for the body of Christ, but Peter was married and he did much for God’s glory as well. Christians find themselves in both positions and both sides should seek to glorify the Lord in that space.

Wisdom. 

As each year passes, I’m not only maturing physically, but also mentally and spiritually! I realize how much I need to learn and what I need to let go of. God is constantly transforming me into the likeness of his son, helping me be a light and exposing my darkness. I’m grateful and trust his wisdom in this time to mold me and shape me as his daughter. He has plans of good and is helping me serve him right where I am :)

Prayer.

Something intentional I’ve done is praying for my future spouse. There was a time the desire of marriage was really pressing on my heart. My mind was racing and I cried to the Lord as if in agony. I needed help on dealing with this desire and I really needed his guidance. At that time I was watching a documentary on Charles Spurgeon and a scene played that changed my outlook:

“Seek a good wife of thy God, for she is the best gift of His providence;
Yet ask not in bold confidence that which He hath not promised:
Thou knowest not His good will ; be thy prayer then submissive thereunto,
And leave thy petition to His mercy, assured that He will deal well with thee.
If thou art to have a wife of thy youth, she is now living on the earth;
Therefore think of her, and pray for her weal.”

Relieved I submitted my fate to the lord and cheerfully went on with my evening, confident that my Lord would deal well with me!

I now keep a journal now for my future husband, praying over him and committing him to God’s hands.

I also purchased a book called 31 prayers for my husband which I occasionally write in.

Guarding my heart ❤️ 

It is imperative that you form habits that help you avoid unnecessary stress and heartbreak in this period. Having clear boundaries and relationships with people, especially guys can help clear a lot of confusion and save pain. If a guy is seriously interested in you and desires a future with you - he will make it clear. His pursuit will be pure and His desire will be to glorify God. We are all maturing, but be mindful with all your relationships and avoid being to emotionally tied to another person that does not have an established relationship with you.

Media also plays a part in guarding your heart as what we consume often drives our desires and expectations. If you feed on the word of God, your desires will match his desires. If you feed on carnal movies, shows, music, and sexual videos - that will greatly impact your desires! Even good things like content of women in marriages may be a source of discontent and it may be healthy to take a step back from consuming such content and searching your heart.

Practicality.

Practically looking at a relationship with someone in the future prompts me to come to terms that we will walk this life together as one. It won’t be easy, but our trust will be in the Lord. Finances will come in to play (wedding, housing, bills, and loans), as well as family relationships, boundaries with friends, bible counseling, denominations, preferences and more. Looking at marriage biblically and realistically will help take off the rose colored glasses we sometimes have when it comes to marriage and will help us properly prepare. 

Doing things such as saving for a wedding and avoiding financial trouble will help much in the future if possible.

Conclusion.

I love Love. I love how it reminds me so of the great love Jesus has for us. He loved us when we were in sin and darkness. He loves us now. Marriage will have its challenges, and it will also have its beautiful moments. I wait to see the day when I will walk this life with another, seeking to glorify Christ Alone. Till then, I will wait.